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Ah, mind-bending, analytical legal thinking... It is not unusual formy Civil Procedure professor to ask a question like, "What does theword 'the' really mean in this sentence?" Often, this type of questionwill spark a forty-five minute in-class debate... As a result, I can ALMOSTunderstand why a lawyer would ask the following questions:

Taken from official court records nationwide, the following 20 questionswere actually asked by lawyers . . .

1) Was that the same nose you broke as a child?

2) Now, doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep,in most cases he just passes quietly away and doesn't know anything aboutit until the next morning?

3) Q: What happened then?
A: He told me, he says, 'I have to kill you because you can identify me.'
Q: Did he kill you?

4) Was it you or your brother that was killed in the war?

5) The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?

6) Were you alone or by yourself?

7) How long have you been a French Canadian?

8) Do you have any children or anything of that kind?

9) Q: I show you exhibit 3 and ask you if you recognize that picture?
A: That's me.
Q: Were you present when that picture was taken?

10) Were you present in court this morning when you were sworn in?

11) Q: Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

12) Q: Do you know how far pregnant you are now?
A: I'll be three months on November 8th.
Q: Apparently, then, the date of conception was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: What were you doing at that time?

13) Q: Mrs. Jones, do you believe you are emotionally stable?
A: I used to be.
Q: How many times have you committed suicide?

14) So you were gone until you returned?

15) Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there girls?

16) You don't know what it was, and you didn't know what it looked like, but can you describe it?

17) Q: You say that the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?

18) Q: Have you lived in this town all your life?
A: Not yet.

19) A Texas attorney, realizing he was on the verge of unleashing astupid question, interrupted himself and said, "Your Honor, I'd liketo strike the next question."

20) Q: Do you recall approximately the time that you examined the body?
A: It was in the evening. The autopsy started about 8:30 PM.
Q: And Mr. Edington was dead at the time, is that correct?
A: No, you stupid sh*t, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

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