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1. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

2. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

3. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

4. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

5. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

6. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your ass kicked.

7. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

8. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

9. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

10. WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

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Alcohol Warnings

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