A pat on the back is only a few inches from a kick in the pants

Don't be irreplaceable, if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted

The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get

You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard

When bosses discuss improving productivity, they don't mean themselves

Mother said there'd be days like this, but she never said there'd be so many

Everything can be filed under "Miscellaneous"

Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour

To err is human, to forgive is not company policy

Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail

The last person to quit is held responsible for everything that's wrong

There is never enough time to do it right, but always time to do it over

The more pretentious a corporate name, the smaller the organization

If you're good, you get a lot of work. If you're really good, you get out of it

You're always doing something marginal when the boss drops by

People are always available for work in the past tense

If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done

Authority is inversely proportional to the number of pens a person carries

When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried

You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like

The longer the title, the less important the job

Machines that have broken down will work fine when the repairman arrives

Once a job is fouled up, anything done to improve it makes it worse

All vacations and holidays create problems, except for one's own

Success is just a matter of luck... just ask any failure

Anyone can do any amount of work...
provided it's not the work he's supposed to do

An "acceptable" level of employment means...
the person who accepts it has a job

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